


After the Fact

by whilewilde



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King, IT Chapter 2
Genre: M/M, Moving On, Pain, Trauma, sorry in advance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 21:34:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20955248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whilewilde/pseuds/whilewilde
Summary: Richie struggles to move on after Eddie's death.





	After the Fact

Richie sees Eddie _everywhere. _

He doesn't mean to, it's just his brain seems to be affixed on everything Eddie Kaspbrak (not that he was complaining). Even when he sees a stupid vine of a dog doing something cute, he thinks of Eddie. He even goes as far as to hit "share as a message" and searches for his name, before realising that it doesn't matter now. Dead people can't check their phones, he reminds himself, retreating to the reality of how it is now, rather than what could have been.

Richie thinks about _that_ day the most. About how many times they could have turned and ran if they were just selfish for once; but they never did. Eddie even had his bags packed to leave his wife, they could have just retreated into some random state so far away from Maine. Richie could have left cute post-it notes on cupboards for the first few weeks in the house whilst Eddie found his way around. They could have gone to the movies together, and Richie could have dragged Eddie to see a musical (that he would have called "a pile of shit" anyway). They could have been happy.

Happiness wasn't really an ideal option anymore; Richie didn't sleep, and he certainly didn't dream if he did. His dreams were just horrible memories or alternate endings to a scene that he really wishes he didn't cast himself in. 

As for the Losers, they kept in touch frequently. They never said anything about it, but they knew. What could they even say to make everything better? They weren't Eddie. They could never replace the bond that was now severed permanently.

It was exactly 1 year after the fact, close to Christmas when Richie would return home to find a black leather jacket slung over the bannister in the hall. He didn't have to even second guess where it had come from because he had seen that jacket hundreds of times before when he tried to sleep.

Richie slipped the jacket on, noting that it was as if it was brand new, hugging it tight around his body, as if it was the last thing he had to remember Eddie by left.

It always stuck in his throat that Richie never said the words to Eddie that he so desperately wanted to, but in that moment it all made sense. He didn't need to be told, because he knew it anyway. I love you can be said in so many ways, like the reaffirmation of "You're braver than you think" or pulling them back from running headfirst into a door marked 'VERY SCARY', or even perhaps selflessly giving them the jacket off their back to cover their wounds and stop the bleeding.

Neither had to say those three words explicitly because they had said it hundreds of times before in a very different way.

Upon placing his hands in the pockets, he landed upon a note of some kind.

_I knew anyway. E_


End file.
